"Keep your thoughts positive, as your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior.
Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits.
Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny."
~Mahatma Gandhi

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly
endless."
~Mother Teresa of Calcutta

"The labels we put on our experience become our experience."
~David Rock in "Quiet Leadership"

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"I can't believe I did that!" "What's wrong with me?" "Why can't I figure this out?" "What if I fail?" Do any of these statements sound familiar? I certainly catch myself saying these things to myself sometimes. Most people say things to themselves that they would NEVER say to anyone else, even their worst enemy! This issue of The Spark is about the power of language, and the importance of learning to shift your thinking to create a new, more empowered future.

Researchers estimate that we have 50,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. That's a busy brain! We also know that the vast majority of these thoughts are the same ones we had yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. Yet if we want tomorrow to be different than yesterday, we have to THINK differently. What are your habitual thought patterns? You may never have thought about your thoughts before! To begin this process, make a point of observing your thoughts for at least a day. You can set a watch or timer to go off several times a day to remind you to observe your thoughts. Another option is to notice any time you react to something, or you notice your energy changing.

Whatever the trigger, observe and write down what you were thinking about, what you were feeling, and what was happening at the time. If you want a worksheet to do this, email me and I'll send you one. Once you have observed your thinking, you'll be able to see patterns that are very enlightening!

As more research is being done on how we think and how we create habits, we're learning some very exciting things. David Rock, in his book "Quiet Leadership," describes the process of turning thoughts into habits as taking the time and energy to "deepen and broaden" the neurological links in ou brains. And the way we do that is through thinking and feeling. The more positive and emotional the thoughts, the faster and deeper they anchor in our brains. Think about the song you associate with the first time you fell in love. Regardless of how long ago that event was, I'll bet you remember that song in amazing detail. Think about the strongest memories you have, and the way you describe those events. What language do you use?

So what does this have to do with the Language of your Life? Language is the foundation of those 50,000 thoughts per day, and emotion is associated with language. To illustrate, read these statements carefully, as if you were saying these things to yourself:
I'm so overwhelmed
I'll try
If only it was different
I should do that
I doubt that I can do that
I feel so guilty
I'm sick and tired of this

How do you feel after reading and thinking about those words? How often do you use these words and others like them in your life?

In contrast, carefully read the next list of statements:
It's easy
I'm so grateful
There are several possibilities
I'm happy and at peace
I can do anything I want
I'm free to do what is best for me
I can handle anything that comes my way

How do you feel after reading and thinking about those words. How often do you use these words and others like them?

We all have a combination of these thoughts. The power is in learning that you can SHIFT your negative thinking - to focus and direct your thought process - through your language. As in the quote above, when you change your thoughts, you change your words, which changes your behavior, which ultimately changes the results you create in life. For example, what are your "power words?" I love words like "unstoppable," "possibilities," and "irresistable." I've sought to erase words like "try" and "should" from my language.

As a coach, I can hear the energy people have in different words. The contrast between the words in the two lists above is dramatic. If you want to play with this for yourself, ask a friend to listen for the words you use in your next conversation. What do you say when your energy increases, and what do you say when your energy dips? Choose to practice some new empowering words and see what happens. And remember, the more time and energy you put into this process, the wider and deeper the new associations in your brain.

The next time you say negative things to yourself, or you label your experience in a way that doesn't serve you, ask yourself, "What kind of life does this language create?" Make a point of choosing the Language of Your Life.