Have you ever had a conversation with someone where, even though they looked you in the eye and nodded their head, you knew they weren't fully "there" with you? Some part of them was doing the socially-acceptable behavior, but you felt slighted or dismissed in some way? Or have you ever asked someone a question, then by the time they answered the question, you had forgotten what you asked? With our busy lifestyles, and the many things we demand our minds to keep track of, it's no wonder we all "check out" sometimes.
I believe that one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and others is the gift our our presence - the full force of who we are. The power of presence is bringing all of your capabilities and resources to the present moment. For example, think of the difference in power between a spray mist of water, the spray from a garden hose, or the spray from a firehose. It's all water traveling through the air, but a firehose has much more of an impact than mist. When your attention is diffused, you have much less impact than when you are focused and mindful.
Lately people seem to pride themselves on the ability to multi-task. Why get only one thing done, when you can get four things done at the same time? And that doesn't just go for tasks - it goes for relationships too. I'm amazed how often I see people who are together, yet they're taking to others on cell phones! They are diffusing the power of their presence by directing their focus to multiple places.
When successful people have something important to accomplish, they focus. Watch an elite athlete, a top musician or performer, or a great parent, when they are "in the game." There's an air of intensity, a focusing of energy, that is observable at many levels. How often do YOU focus your attention and your energy in that way? I find that I have to bring that kind of energy and attention to write this newsletter, and I can't always do it on demand (unfortunately - but I'm working on it!). If you have that same challenge, here are some tips:
- Practice focusing. Set the time on your watch, or choose an activity where you make the choice to fully bring all of you to the activity. See how long you can hold your attention fully. Practice making that time longer and longer.
- Engage in activities that train you to focus. Meditation, martial arts, and yoga are just a few examples. Studies on the physiology and electrical activity of human brains shows that we truly change the physical make-up of our brains with sustained focus. New neural pathways are created every time we focus our thinking. What kind of pathways are YOU creating each day?!
- Engage your senses. We're often so "in our heads," thinking about the past and the future, that we fail to observe the amazing things happening around us in every moment. To be more present, look around you as if seeing it for the first time. What do you smell? What do you hear when you listen really carefully? Use your senses to force yourself out of the pattern of thought, and into some new patterns of observation. >>
- Notice your thoughts. How many of your thoughts at this moment are really about NOW, and how many of them are about the past or the future? How many are affirmative, and how many are negative or disempowering? Notice what you generally talk about with others as part of this process too. Since the now is the only place you can have an impact, what will you choose now?
The list of ways you can practice great presence goes on, but for now, practice a few things to bring your focus, attention, and energy to this moment, and notice what happens (part of being present too!). You will be amazed at the Power of Your Presence.
